Friday, October 10, 2008
I feel wasted.
References:underestimated
Today I went back into the past and was lucky enough to bring back some things that are useful. The theme I am working with here is "underestimated". Before I read Romy's post and found a word that nicely put together the experience, I experienced myself in my youth and noticed that there was this beingness there that was my acceptance. My biggest people I accepted were moved into this liquid of acceptance. This warm liquid was like everything i had to offer. Unfortunatly, I believe that the trap was to move them into this liquid of acceptance and from there have control over me. To put it another way, you have this love which exists by itself and is you and you end up placing someone in that field of your own beingness and when they turn and reveal that in fact that they are devoid of this love and you try and try to make yourself right based on the initial decision that you loved (which implies they love) to the point where, unable (out of ignorance) to change your decision and agree that they are untouched by love, you (out of ignorance) change yourself unwittingly and your own light becomes dull with the shades of their darkness.
Now you are the "underestimated".
Perhaps the most brilliant revelations I have been pressed to see is to observe the darkness that is the cause of all humiliation and degredation and evils of all forms. It has to be held as the highest knowledge because it is the cause of all obstructions on the Path to the Highest. Nothing is higher than the highest. Take form away from the formless, you still have formlessness. See:Purna
In this world of Darkness, the Light is degraded so that it forgets that it is formless and forgets that it creates. Then we become "underestimated" by our accumulation of formed views of ourself.
For example, some terrible nothing good to say person comes along into a peaceful forest, mocks the silence and stillness around and fills it with their worthless chatter. perhaps this being comes in the form of a human so you agree with him on some level (agreeing on human form) and are casually manipulated into agreeing more and more with this being until you yourself feel an aversion for this silence and stillness to the point where you begin to allow whatever noise to come in solely in an attempt to run away from this stillness or silence. But before this occured you were this same stillness and silence and this was your forest. But, due to a psycopaths murders, you fear your own potency and must be told what is true. This is where television, radio, doctors, science, news casters, etc. come in. Controllers control by programmed fear. The fear arose only because you agreed with them just a little bit and as you agreeed to a greater degree, you adopted their own fear of the silence and stillness which was once yours.
So this is what I found of my own past. Maybe with some elaborations. As terrible as it may seem. Ive grabbed the ball and must allow that redeeming knowledge that tells me many of those heros and heroines of my youth and elsewhere were my bitter enemies in the truth of things. And one who doesnt respect you now, will never respect you later. And yes I, like all things true and good in this world, was "underestimated" by a brick wall.
Today I went back into the past and was lucky enough to bring back some things that are useful. The theme I am working with here is "underestimated". Before I read Romy's post and found a word that nicely put together the experience, I experienced myself in my youth and noticed that there was this beingness there that was my acceptance. My biggest people I accepted were moved into this liquid of acceptance. This warm liquid was like everything i had to offer. Unfortunatly, I believe that the trap was to move them into this liquid of acceptance and from there have control over me. To put it another way, you have this love which exists by itself and is you and you end up placing someone in that field of your own beingness and when they turn and reveal that in fact that they are devoid of this love and you try and try to make yourself right based on the initial decision that you loved (which implies they love) to the point where, unable (out of ignorance) to change your decision and agree that they are untouched by love, you (out of ignorance) change yourself unwittingly and your own light becomes dull with the shades of their darkness.
Now you are the "underestimated".
Perhaps the most brilliant revelations I have been pressed to see is to observe the darkness that is the cause of all humiliation and degredation and evils of all forms. It has to be held as the highest knowledge because it is the cause of all obstructions on the Path to the Highest. Nothing is higher than the highest. Take form away from the formless, you still have formlessness. See:Purna
In this world of Darkness, the Light is degraded so that it forgets that it is formless and forgets that it creates. Then we become "underestimated" by our accumulation of formed views of ourself.
For example, some terrible nothing good to say person comes along into a peaceful forest, mocks the silence and stillness around and fills it with their worthless chatter. perhaps this being comes in the form of a human so you agree with him on some level (agreeing on human form) and are casually manipulated into agreeing more and more with this being until you yourself feel an aversion for this silence and stillness to the point where you begin to allow whatever noise to come in solely in an attempt to run away from this stillness or silence. But before this occured you were this same stillness and silence and this was your forest. But, due to a psycopaths murders, you fear your own potency and must be told what is true. This is where television, radio, doctors, science, news casters, etc. come in. Controllers control by programmed fear. The fear arose only because you agreed with them just a little bit and as you agreeed to a greater degree, you adopted their own fear of the silence and stillness which was once yours.
So this is what I found of my own past. Maybe with some elaborations. As terrible as it may seem. Ive grabbed the ball and must allow that redeeming knowledge that tells me many of those heros and heroines of my youth and elsewhere were my bitter enemies in the truth of things. And one who doesnt respect you now, will never respect you later. And yes I, like all things true and good in this world, was "underestimated" by a brick wall.
# posted by edgarnow : 8:01 PM
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